Showing posts with label comeback. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comeback. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

An Open Letter to Stereotype Enthusiasts



To Whom it May Concern,



If you've ever said, "you're not *really* black," then you're part of the
problem. I hope that got your attention, because this is going to be a long
and painful read for some of you. This letter is to inform all concerned
that I am identifying only with the "human" race, as opposed to identifying
as "black" or some other such designation. If you think it's cool to tell
someone they're "not really" a specific race based on their behavior not
sticking to a specific stereotype, then you are an idiot. It is one of the
most appalling yet subtle pretenses we've used to divide ourselves.

Perhaps I'm speaking as the victim? Not exactly. I'm guilty of this
stupidity myself. The difference is I've learned from it, and you to whom
this is addressed have not. A note on the "you're not really
black/white/asian/latino" phenomenon that has permeated our society, I'm
not. No, I am "not really" black. I'm a human being and my character or
behavior is not defined by my color or ethnicity, it's defined by my
fucking behavior; tell me this is not a difficult concept to grasp. The
fact that I've even heard the phrase in its several iterations at this
stage in human history makes me want to vomit.

Then there's the low-calorie version, the "what are you mixed with"
question. I'm mixed with... well I don't know. Carbon? Yes, carbon. Does it
really matter what the hell my ethnic origin is? Are you asking because
it's gonig to change your opinion of me? It probably won't, but many think
it will. You automatically establish a dividing line between yourself and
the person you ask that same vile question in the subject's mind. If
the subject of the question doesn't think anything of it, then perhaps they
should, because your ethnicity does not define your conduct.

Who gives a shit about ethnic pride for that matter? As George Carlin put
it, you've won a "lottery." A completely and utterly arbitrary system of
vetting in which people are born into a nation, into a family of a certain
bloodline, and are then faced with the cultural/economical/social
landscape which they were spat upon. Pride, again in the spirit of Carlin,
is earned. John Locke's Theory of Value and Property, holding any weight,
would put ethnic or national pride at absolutely "nil."

So don't look at it as being politically correct when I urge you to take
any and all of what's stated into account. Take it as encouragement to be a
world citizen, take it as news you can use towards a better cohesiveness.
But whatever you do, at the very least, take your anqituated notions to the
dumpster and be a human being; nothing mundane about that.

Sincerely,
Rey Ignatius Fawkes

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Oh By The Way, New Blog


After a long period of inactivity, punctuated by moments of self-loathing and doubt, I'm back in the writing game. I could give you a number of reasons, but lets just go with mindless self-importance and the deluded notion that people care about what I have to say. Because I'm awesome, and that's that.

If you've read thus far, you'll notice the shiny new black layout and the tone of the material having a nod towards politics. Unfortunately that was my first of many posts, and I aim to go in one solid direction: Humor.

I'm going back to my roots on this one. Humorist writing, much like plumbing, is my shit without the lame allegory. So allow me to formally introduce you to my new page. You're introduced, you can exchange names and numbers. Maybe take my page out for a lovely evening. But be warned, this page doesn't give it up on the first night; no swing-leg.

Enjoy, and share. In fact just share...