Dear "Believers",
I'd like to start this letter with a quote from kinesiologist Mark Rippetoe:
"Just because some jackass asserts a thing does not mean that it is worthy of refutation. If the same guy tells you that every space shuttle launch perturbs the Earth's orbit, and that the cumulative effects are just about to start the process of the loss of the atmosphere into space, thus creating a vacuum that will destroy all life on the planet in approximately 36 hours, would you deem this necessary to refute? How much time would you spend explaining to him why this cannot happen? Would not your time be spent better doing other things? And if you devise a concise explanation, why would you assume he would understand?"
See that? That's the look of silent judgement from Coach Rippetoe himself...
The above quote is why I waited to the eleventh hour (see what I did there?) to write this letter to you, in hopes that you wouldn't do anything foolish when the ball drops or any time after. It seems counter-intuitive for me to write this despite the above quote, but I felt a moral imperative to let you know why you're wrong. Why you're an idiot, why you make life unbearable and therefore why I despise everything it is you have to say.
I think it's cute that the spiritually inclined seem to have an answer for everything, even though they're just as fallible as any other person walking this earth. As if they had a direct-to-God hotline on the universe and how it unfolds. What's really knock-your-socks-off adorable is that this type of thinking has been going on for years, of note during the rule of the Mayans. True, they revolutionized mathematical theory with the concept of zero, but they also believed that the only way to sate the gods was by cutting out the still-beating heart of a person.
But apparently this wasn't absurd enough for you to dismiss, oh no! "They had ancient wisdom which in turn made them more spiritually aligned with the ways of the universe!" you would claim. Well look here, buddy. It's "ancient wisdom" for a reason: The "wisdom" is obsolete. I mean, lets take a good look at some Mayan innovations, check out my list:
Obsidian Swords? Check
Advanced Architecture? Check
Telescope? Crap!
Not. Even. Close...Well damn! No telescope for the Jaguar aficionados, eh? What a shame! I suppose we'll have to fall on modern science. That, or just admit the fact that there is a whole lot of universe, and not a lot of stone with which to carve hieroglyphics. That the Mayan calendar simply ran out of room. You mean to tell me that these clowns could predict the end of the world, but didn't know that Spain would soon come to their shores with a jones to rape and pillage the shit out of them? Really? This is precisely the sword you seem to fall on every time.
The "spiritually awakened" of your ilk will take the (pseudo)scientific approach and argue that the poles of the earth will shift, which is absurd considering that polar shifts occur over the course of billions of years, vice three days like certain films would claim. Others will swear up and down that "Planet 'X'" or "Nibiru" is set on a collision course with our planet, which is worse considering that no astronomer has spotted such a planet, and if over the course of a few months a planet that size were set to collide we would have seen it by now with the simplest of telescopes. Add on the fact that our planet is not a static object but a body in constant motion and it just leaves you, like your argument, "cussed out and comin' up short" as they say down South.
Seriously, dude, read a book...
I know that I have a tendency to "hop on my atheist high horse" and question everything that comes my way and refute it until I'm blue in the face, but this isn't an "unknown-unknown." This is not some "impossible to disprove" argument. This is a fact, a fact based in opposition to a foolish assertion with tangible evidence to support it. It has been DISPROVEN! FACT! But now, sadly, I have to share a deep and terrible realization with you.
You're going to (presumably) live to see the 21st of December, and you're going to study. You're going to begin to question everything that comes your way. You're going to apply logic, reason and all of those nice things. You're going to stop falling back on the old soothsayers comfort of "knowing when our world shall end." In short, you're going to think.
You're going to (presumably) live to see the 21st of December, and you're going to study. You're going to begin to question everything that comes your way. You're going to apply logic, reason and all of those nice things. You're going to stop falling back on the old soothsayers comfort of "knowing when our world shall end." In short, you're going to think.
No, dude, not like that. Well maybe, but without auto-tune.
