Bitch Please: "Fasting for Yahweh"

For my first Monday "Bitch Please" I'd like to draw your attention to the drawn appearance of YouTube user Aaron Cohen who tried fasting for 120 days. You'll notice in the "comments" section she only drank water, had a multi-vitamin and ate only "kosher" food. Now where I come from they call that a diet but hey, different strokes, right?

Right?

The video only has six milestone vlogs to chronicle her (self-inflicted) ordeal. Here is my commentary for each one:

Day 1:

Alright, homegirl needs to fast. I mean she's got a fucking double-chin! Not that much mention of God's "influence" on her decision though. Will watch more of this circus later, this chick is making me hungry.

Day 54:

She's starting to look bombed out and drained. Not a very good look though, rather boring and I'm starting to wonder if she's doing this for shock value.

Day 59:

Damn! "Closer to God" as in at St. Peter's gate, right? This is starting to get gross, her cheekbones look like they're going to punch through her face at any second! Right on time for Halloween though, as she looks like the first wave of the Zombie Apocalypse. Hey baby, if you want a job in show business I hear they're hiring extras for the Walking Dead TV program.

Day 104:

Alright, knock it off! Bitch looks like Abe Vigoda w/ lip stick. Nobody told me there were going to be celebrity cameos. This makes me wonder if George Romero produced this before he passed. Seriously though, the more she mentions God, the more I know she doesn't realize God has nothing to do with this. But then she says God is "turning [her] into the person [she] wanted to be." Which basically tells me she wants to look like a concentration camp victim. But please spare me the rattle about God touching you in a "miraculous way" when you need to be touched by Burger King.

Summary:

There are so many places I can go with this, from the fact that she's possibly screwing up her children above and beyond the levels a child can be screwed up during their growth to the fact that I don't know why a benevolent "god" would want their follower to hurt themselves. There's no punchline to this joke, folks. It's just another sad example of how someone's faith, and their actions, betray each other. I don't want the girl to starve, but I do think that the next person who views this as a way to get better in touch with their god needs to apply some critical thinking to the mess.

Happy Halloween, and for fuck's sake "question everything."

...While you're at it, grab a "sammich," you look a bit peckish.