Being a writer is hard, with all of that sitting on your ass all day and typing. But being a humorist writer is harder still, sitting on your ass but being held to the most difficult expectation of your readership: Making something funny.
Given my inability to play with others and my willingness to "cut a bitch" over creative differences, it's very difficult to consult my peers, peers born with the good sense to abandon a fool's errand like writing funny shit on the interwebs. A wise man once said that you can't force creativity and though it may seem to be the most popular excuse for not delivering material on time (sometimes it is), the individual was right.
So, lets set a few ground rules:
1. Updates will be on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Nothing on holidays, because if it's good enough for the government then it's good enough for me. Unless we're talking about randomly attacking brown people or buying a rich person dinner, because that's flat out.
2. I do not have a bonus material feature. You want bonus material? Buy a DVD... or Blu-Ray? Is that the new hot pussy now? Blu-Ray?
(UPDATE) Yes, the new hotness is indeed Blu-Ray, I'm glad we got that out of the way.
3. I'm willing to work with other writers and artists, just be sure to shoot me an email beforehand. I don't wan't you shooting me some nasty-gram missive talking about how you need a funny article for your site at the last second (Shit has happened to me in the past, not cool.) Long story short: Your inability to prioritize is a special kind of problem... "Your problem."
4. If you're easily offended, I make no apologies. In fact I'm going to take it a step farther and purposely make fun of you. I will embarass you publicly, and I will make you cry. Cry like an eight-year-old bitch, and then I'll bang your girlfriend.
So now that you're familiarized and we have a steady policy going, enjoy the rest of the page and the articles therein.
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